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CLOSENESS,  HARRY  WILMER WROTE, is about intimacy and distance, decency and ethics. It is about attachment and loss, domination and dependency, transference and countertransference, touching and sex. Closeness is at the very heart of human relationships. Meditation, as a form of disciplined silence, Dr Wilmer continues, is a method of escaping our ordinary obsessive thinking and preoccupations to attain a sense of peace, quiet and contentment. Meditation need not be esoterical but can occur as spontaneous moments, spaces, in our daily lives. Or as Krishnamurti said he meditates daily but doesn’t make a habit of it.  The Japanese MA space is open, empty, and pure—laying the groundwork for going and coming; the interval between, rather than absence, of sound or of images. A time where one’s soul may enter consciousness, a place where we can go beyond naming and singling out parts. With any luck, this blogsite can become such a place.

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Posted in Communities, Dennie Briggs, Psychology | 5 Comments

CHANNELING THROUGH DREAMS

If we can channel in a dreamstate, can we be in touch with a person who has died? If so, does that means of communication make it possible for us to move into different levels of consciousness? Likewise, how do our dreams enable us to experience being multidimensional?

Previously I referred to a personal experience whereby recurrent dreams of my partner, John, who died 15 years ago, have formed a kind of ongoing relationship in which we continue to work together on projects, writing, traveling, and so on. A younger brother, Bob, recently died, whom I was very close to, and he in turn, close to my late partner. After a short absence, I’ve begun to have dreams of him, not as an adult, but as a small child and a teen. Bob was a staunch believer in reincarnation and shared information and thoughts with John. One could deem such dreams as attempts at joyful recall, however they may reveal other aspects of the psyche that we may overlook. And they raise so many questions.

Linda Mutch, who’s had considerable experience in channeling, discusses some of these issues in the first episode of a series on “Channeling in the Dream State.”

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DISTANT INTIMACY

 

My nephew, Shaun, has just invited me “to connect on his LinkedIn site.” I wondered why he would want his aged uncle on his spot. As a teaser, the underwriter hinted that such a connection might create opportunities for the future.

Under the guise of communication, says MIT psychologist Sherry Turkel, writing in the NY Times, we have “sacrificed conversation for mere connection,” and with a lot of people. Furthermore, such silent connections enable us to change what we do — more importantly, who we are, who we want to be. And to be in touch while being somewhere else. One writer has characterized social media as narcissistic recreation — “a place where people prowl when they’re lonely and restless and unrecognized.”

To be sure there is an abundance of others who primarily want to be heard, to be spotted, and eagerly check their hit counts, but I suspect more is happening in the long haul.

The self-censorship most of us impose on our thoughts and actions limits who and what we can be in our face-to-face connections — even with those whom we are in closest contact — to the extent they evade our consciousness and come forth, for example, in our dreams. The intimate anonymity of social media could allow us the candor to knowingly abandon these inhibitions and try out other possibilities — customizing our own public opinion polls.

The appeal & judicial development of social media may also indicate more profound changes in the multiplicity of our consciousnesses; we no longer need be bound by a single one.

So my nephew’s invitation to connect might lead to an opportunity to glimpse what Carl Jung forecast, the unconscious itself may be in a stage of makeover.

Cross posted on DagBlog

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FRIENDSHIP. AN EXTRA SELF

 

Aristotle is credited with saying that a friend is another self. Friendship implies an openness toward another, a broadening or enlargement of oneself. That meaning in the past often took the form of love: Platonic or romantic. Essayist William Deresiewicz, writing in the NY Times, reminds us that it was actually feminism that led to the idea of friendship, with the emergence of the “New Woman,” in the 1890s: “intelligent, well read, strong-willed, idealistic, unconventional and outspoken. . . relationships with men, whether or not they involved sex, had to involve mental companionship, freedom of choice, equality and mutual respect. They had, in short, to be friendships.”

So along with friendship, came companionship with the terms boyfriend and girlfriend, but still often carried the connotation of an eventual sexual relationship. Then came the 1960s when relationships became open ended in terms of equal rights and formed the basis of this fresh concept of love: one’s mate as one’s best friend.

Mr Deresiewicz, reminds us again that having grown up with the gay-rights movement and many who’ve gone to colleges with co-ed dormitories, countless young people are exposed to a wider range of prospects. Those options include new meanings of relationships be they platonic, mentoring, of the same sex, or new arrangements of “families.”

Even so, relationships between men have had a rough go. Although they have always been strong, expressing themselves in the military, athletics, the workplace, schools; camaraderie, fraternity, male bonding — contacts between men have often had to be disguised and not allowed full expression. There aren’t even many written accounts of this enormous area of human connection.

I found that absenteeism true considering my own intimate relationship with another man. After John’s death, I tried to piece together what I could about what made our kinship last for 25 years — memories, photos, letters, journal entries, tapes of our conversations. I put my recollections together not in any consecutive order — just as they came to me — then related to these fragments in a kind of free association. I came across plentiful examples of trust, sincerity, companionship, love, collaboration, kindness, beauty, grace — features enriching long term fellowship.

We have trouble, in our culture, Mr Deresiewicz concludes, with any love that isn’t based on sex or blood. We understand romantic relationships, and we understand family, and that’s about all we seem to understand. Friendship between the sexes may no longer be a political issue, but it is an issue of liberation: the freedom to love whom you want, in the way that you want.

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ALONGSIDE BULLYING

Does the US Supreme Court practice bullying? Under the guise of “seniority,” the newest justice is expected to perform menial tasks such as answering the conference door during closed sessions,  transmitting orders of the Court to the court’s clerk— and serving coffee to the others. How many years did Ruth Bader Ginsberg have to stand before she was allowed to sit for photo ops? Are these time-honored practices another form of hazing as we see in college fraternities or the military academies—a rite of passage?

            The recent focus on bullying has captured the nation’s attention, from pop stars such as Madonna, all the way to the President and First Lady. And now there is a major movie based on real life experiences of children. We’ve read numerous accounts of bullying in the classroom, hazing in college fraternities and in the military. And among Wall Street traders. We’ve seen repercussions at a distance in cyber bullying and webcam spying. And blatant examples in hate crimes, sexual harassment, and the devastation caused by gangs. Intolerance of differences and control of others by coercion: hardly characteristics of democracy.

            Each of us can recognize inhumane, anti-democratic practices and change them into positive encounters.

            As a clinical psychologist in the US Navy, I was stationed at a hospital’s psychiatric service in Japan. Sailors and Marines from the Pacific area were hospitalized for a variety of Post Traumatic Stress Disorders, including psychoses, attempted suicide, neurotic conditions, chronic criminal activities and prolonged mental fatigue. On the wards were patients with hallucinations, paranoid delusions, acute depressions, and uncontrolled aggression. About one-third were considered “management problems,” many of them Marines, whom even the Navy’s brigs could not cope with. They ridiculed hallucinating patients, seeing them as fakers; those who had made suicidal attempts as weak, making life miserable for many. We met daily with all the patients and gradually were able to show how their actions were real—furthermore, suggest ways that the other patients could help their fellows. Some of these more aggressive servicemen eventually showed exceptional kindness and patience with the more disturbed men, assisting them with basic needs; in effect becoming “social therapists.” Some even returned after leaving to see how their buddies had progressed.

            Some years later, I had the opportunity to set up a therapeutic community for young, aggressive offenders in a large prison. There, we were subjected to all the brutalities of prison life—extortions, rapes, threats, gangs. Having learned from the Navy, we confronted some of the most aggressive prisoners, and enlisted their help, eventually legitimately becoming also as “social therapists,” working alongside the staff.

            And then I had the chance to teach a second grade class in a school of 800. There were the perpetual bullies practicing their bravado on the school grounds and taunting children outside it. The principal appealed to me for advice and I agreed to give it a try. Before I could discuss the matter with the children, Bill, known as a terrorist at the school, knocked on our door. Hurriedly thinking back to the Navy and the prison, I invited Bill in, introduced him to the class as my assistant, and invited him to sit next to me in our planning meeting. Intuitively, he caught on to what we were doing, and before long was helping some of the children with their projects. He stayed after class for a “teacher’s meeting” with me and came back each day, vacating his sixth grade class. The principal sent other bullies to our class as helpers; soon there were a dozen at our noontime “brown bag” teacher’s meeting. And then two older “gangsters” caused a crisis for our class. They amassed an arsenal of stones, clubs and other weapons to levy an attack; our boys rose to the occasion by collecting a stockpile of their own. At the appointed time—after school hours—they met on the battleground, and the boys from our class coerced me to come as their commander. I need not retell the details of the story, however, the younger boys invited the ruffians to join our crowd, which out of curiosity they did—and remained.

There are no easy quick-fix solutions to the multidimensional existence of exploitation, the unjust use of force and coercion to adversely affect others, to correct the imbalance and misuse of power, or the intolerance of differences—to bring about what the late Adrienne Rich advanced as “the creation of a society without domination.”

            Perchance the High Court could take some time out to review its undemocratic seniority stand, and perhaps—just suppose—one morning the Chief Justice might serve its underling, Justice Hagan, her morning brew!

Posted in Communities, Criminal Justice, Education, military, Psychology | Leave a comment

DREAMWORK & CONSCIOUSNESS

“Can we ‘Channel’ in the Dream State?” asks Medium, Linda Mutch, in an article recently submitted to FATE Magazine. When my partner of 25 years was dying, he asked Linda if, at a point when I was ready, would she channel for him to communicate with me? Linda recounted this request on a recent visit and was surprised to learn that since John died 15 years ago, I have had regular dreams about him (118 recorded last year) in which we make contact, are working together, he giving me ideas and “editing” writings. We go on trips, move to different locations, visit friends, and even have disagreements.

“Is going within, meditating and reaching a deeper level of existence a way to tap into the ongoing soul of a departed one? Is this the preparation process? And if so may we call it a relationship?” Questions Linda poses. She further enquires: “Can a departed soul meet a person in the physical body in the dream state? And dare we call this ‘channeling?’ ” Her reply: “I ask why not?”

Actually I hadn’t given much thought to the preponderance of dreams about John over the years; they seemed to occur so “naturally,” coherent with our relationship as it had existed. I don’t believe I more than casually mentioned them to anyone previously. But Linda’s challenge led to our discussion of dreamwork to realize different levels or planes of consciousness and its relation to “reality.” And the idea of changing consciousness rather than events and emotions. Which in turn, might alter or create new realities with new themes and inhabitants. A process somewhat unlike traditional psychotherapies or education.

 

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WHAT DOES TIME DO TO MEMORY?

 

How much and what parts of memory are “edited?” To what extent is memory an act of imagination and, as such, “over reliant” on it? Questions Julian Barnes wrestles with in his novel, The Sense of an Ending.  As I look at the entries I’ve made in these pages, I wonder how real is my portrayal of myself and my times—how I would like to be seen versus how I was, what it was like, how I am right now?  As we lose our peers, our ability to check “the witnesses who could corroborate our memories” is diminished. I constantly find myself in that predicament as there are so very few around anymore to authenticate. And aside from increasing “brain freezes,” what have I missed altogether?


							
Posted in Arts/Literature, Psychology | 1 Comment

A blog event last week

We got hacked! – Imagine my surprise when we had as the front page

“This  site has been hacked”.

It took me a good couple of days to recover the site and to add further layers of protection, but I learnt something through the process and have to thank the hackers for that.

Its not nice however to do that without permission and it had Dennie worried, but as I said to him “You have so arrived as a blogger now you have been hacked“.

Let’s hope that it doesn’t happen again!

 

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TIME FOR OUTRAGE

I recently asked what has happened to awareness, responsibility and, most of all, to the spirit of American youth over the past half century? Today’s response to social, economic and consciousness concerns is too often indifference, acceptance and apathy. Although there are fleeting evidences of social concerns by youth, what could bring about a larger awareness, both inwardly and, by its extension to others—to humanity?

Where and how do youth find that arousal, that vitality, that commitment that makes life human?

Stephane Hessel is such an awakener and has some clues. In his tiny pamphlet-like book, Time for Outrage, he lets us in on insights gained from his 94 years of active participation in the struggle for justice, human rights, and ethical standards. His arguments aren’t from academia but emerge from surviving imprisonment in a Nazi concentration camp, followed by joining the French Resistance in World War II. And then as a member of the United Nations Commission on Human Rights, drafting its universal Declaration of Human Rights.

If there ever was a Clarion Call for Action, Stephane Hessel’s slim volume ranks high on the list of scenarios. 

Click here for a PBS News Hour interview.

  • Indifference. “Adopting this mindset will deprive you of one of the fundamental qualities of being human: outrage.”
  • Protest is a fundamental quality of being human. Feel furious about violations of human rights, indignities, tyrannies, both those that are obvious and others not so visible.
  • See and you will find! Look around you and you will find the themes to justify your indignation. You will become aware of situations so deplorable they simply demand civil action.
  • You must engage—your humanity demands it. Our capacity for protest is indispensable, as is our freedom to engage. “My indignation was born less of emotion than of a deep desire to engage.” Answer with outrage, provoke indignation, a determined will; use non-violent engagement, take responsibility (for what has to be done), maintain a “watchful patience.” Formation of networks. (Time for Outrage was published before the Arab Spring and subsequently Occupy Wall Street.
  • It’s time to take over! A determined will. As it’s time to get angry, Mr. Hassel reminds us that,    “The true fabric of our society remains strong,” and that “Politicians, economists, intellectuals, do not surrender! Let us not be defeated by the tyranny of the world financial markets that threaten peace and democracy everywhere. . .  not a structure freed from the dictatorship of executives that is but a replica of a fascist state. . .”
  • To Create is to resist. To resist is to create. Call for: “. . . a rebellion—peaceful and resolute—against the instruments of mass media that offer our young people a worldview defined by the temptations of mass consumption, a disdain for the weak, and a contempt  for culture, historical amnesia, and the relentless competition of all against all.”
  • Work toward a world of ethics. Ethical standards, basic values, seek out unclear goals, challenges, work toward “universal human rights.”
  • Hope. “What we need today. . . is for a segment of the population to rise up in protest. A minority is all we need, like yeast to the dough. . . the Arab Spring promises democratic change that all of us throughout the world should passionately encourage.”

Finally, “I wish all of you to find your reason for indignation. This is a precious thing. When outraged . . . you will become militant, strong, and engaged.”

Whether you view Stephen Hessel’s understandings as further spread of the “Great Disruption,” or the “Great Shift,” of dysfunctional institutions and systems, he has given us crucial human underpinnings that will enable us not only to survive but to contribute to the next phase of humanity. Not only that, but this compassionate soul has laid the foundation for a new psyche which, despite the many adverse indications, is emerging from that nethermost region—the unconscious, about which the great psychologist, Carl Jung, said:

“We are living in what the Greeks called Kaipos—the right time—for a metamorphosis of the gods. The peculiarity of our time, which is certainly not of our conscious choosing, is the expression of the unconscious man within us who is changing.”

cross posted on Dagblog
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MISSING COMPONENT

Department of Defense

“Why Would anyone Miss War?” Afghanistan war correspondent, Sebas-tian Junger asks. “War,” he suggests, “can be tremendously alluring to young men.” So what is its attraction to young men and women? Our recent wars, in contrast to World Wars One and Two, have employed an all volunteer military. At first glance military service offers a job, especially crucial when unemployment is so high. The military is one of the nation’s largest employment agencies. And then there’s cash in the form of enlistment and re-enlistment bonuses. But these are not complete giveaways. The military demands its pound of flesh. Learn a skill; receive an education; find a career; prepare for a retirement—economic enticements shored up by hard working parents. The recruiting posters don’t end there: travel: “See the World”; new experiences, offer humanitarian aid. Underscoring all the marketing, of course, is patriotism—Freedom, defending one’s country from the evils of foreign invaders.

By this time you’re hooked and find yourself in boot camp or basic training where the making of a Soldier, Sailor, Airman, or Marine, begins. Boys become men; girls become women. Homogenization: uniforms, drills, guns, competition, winning.

After you leave, preparing for your first assignment, you begin to realize that other less apparent things were happening: teamwork, leadership, adventure, danger, excitement, fascination, mixing with other social and ethnic groups, away from one’s family, friends, neighborhood; in all, a deeply felt camaraderie with your new found buddies. The adhesive that will cement relationships for years to come, if not a lifetime. Entrenched in the unconscious underground, another latent force had been cultivated. The sticking power that will transcend peril as it did with Medal of Honor recipient, 23-year-old Sgt Dakota Meyer, who saved the lives of 36 fellow Marines, Soldiers, and Afghan Soldiers. “My best friends, my brothers, were getting shot at. I was doing my job.” As he told the press, his actions merely showed, “how tight the brotherhood in the Marines is.”

Following the White House ceremony, Sgt Meyer asked if he and President Obama could share a beer? Which they did privately in the Rose Garden.

Cross posted on Dagblog

Posted in Communities, Education, Psychology, Uncategorized | 1 Comment

QUASHED RESOLVE

 cross posted on Dagblog

In the Arab countries this summer, while hundreds of thousands of young people were risking their lives for a better future, 200 teenagers gathered in Boston for a one-day conference on handling etiquette for breakups on Facebook. They were advised, among other marketed uses of the technology, how to quickly update their relationship status following severed affairs, to avoid the “awkwardness” of face-to-face breakups.

This astounding disparity in values and action of youths on two sides of the world, not to mention their use of technology, is all the more striking when you consider the plight of American youths. There is high unemployment, poverty, the changing nature of work and the workplace, the obsolescence of schools & colleges, the towering cost of higher education—all facing youth. The reaction is largely indifference, acceptance, and—apathy.

Whatever happened to the awareness, responsibility—and spirit, of American youth since their commendable actions that brought about so many social changes in the 1960s?

Posted in Communities, Education, Justice, Psychology, Technology, Uncategorized | 1 Comment